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Love Letter

Thursday, 13 December 2012 @ 18:25 | 0 Comment [s]

To: Collisionary Passion (You know who you are.)
From: Cassidy "Cass" Slightly / 咯善达ᐧ黑卒 / Chizzy (And the rest of the gang.)
Subject: My Love Letter To You
Date: 13 December 2012

Dear Collisionary Passion,

Can you believe, it's been so long since we last spoke? Yes. On that fateful day, I was thrown out of your club, thrown out of your clique, thrown out of your life. It hurt that moment. Time healed my wounds. Months of shoving all thoughts of you away, months of nursing my bloodied scars. Months of having the support of the people around me, Months of re-thinking everything in my life.

Yet,I don't regret having you in my life once. I don't regret meeting you and letting you trample over me. I don't regret getting hurt, I don't regret it. At the same time,I don't wish to talk to you again. Not because I'm still hurting, but because I can't be bothered. I don't wish to bring your filthy soul up to me again, to interact with that slimy gormball of lies that you have to throw at me again. I don't know who your apologies and crocodile tears were for, but they definitely were not for me. You're mean, terrifying, horrible, sick and disgusting. I can't be any blunter.

I don't know who you loved. I don't know if you loved us. I don't care if you loved me, either. Because in your sad, sad little world, nobody mattered other than the people who gave you instant pleasure and happiness. Nobody mattered other than you. I don't exist in your sad little world. I exist in my world. I exist within the boundaries of my own batshit insanity. The form of insanity that you never understood and never tried to understand.

I'm not sorry it all has to end this way. It ended because you ended it. It ended because you threw everything away. Everything that you thought would implicate you, everything that you thought would determine your being as a worthless one in society. You did it. Maybe it's not heartless of you - maybe you're just trying to make your own ends meet, trying to tie up the loose ends of your sad life.

I'm sorry, Collisionary Passion. It'll never work out. You chose the way that we went out, and so I played along. You dumped us by the roadside, so we packed up and left you in the dumps. I won't feel sorry, and I won't cry. The pain's lifted itself. I hope you're well - well enough to pursue your sick ambitions, but never well enough to feel any more than your so-called 'emotions' and 'friendship'. I have no remorse over what I've said. Not because I want to be evil. Not because I want to sink into Hell for being the evilest bitch ever. But because you've made your exit in our lives, and we've made ours in yours.

I'm not falling for your dramatized life. You can beg as much as you want - it's not going to make me feel sorry for you. Maybe I'll feel guilty that I never tried to stop you. But I won't feel sorry for your sad, sad soul. I won't feel sorry because you chose to run away. You chose to give up your own humanity for your inhuman purposes. You didn't choose to fight till the end - it was your choice. I couldn't stop you. And so, I would feel guilty - but never sorry for you. Guilty that I upset the people who loved you. Sorry for them, even. But not you. Never you.

I'm not an evil person. But I dig karma, and I dig it good.

Yours sincerely,
Cassidy "Cass" Slightly / 咯善达ᐧ黑卒 / Chizzy (And the rest of the gang.)

We wish you well.

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